I felt soooooo stupid. I just screwed up an opportunity that might turn out to be the most important thing in my life! I blew it because I underestimated the obstacle that I had to overcome first to achieve it. I didn’t study.. didn’t practice.. didn’t prepare myself. I came to battle with my head held high, my chess proud, and my eyes closed! Idiota!
When I was given this opportunity.. I knew it’s good.. it’s desirable.. But the truth is, I didn’t know how much achieving it would mean to me.. to my personal goals.. until I lost it!
BLAMM! The door closed in front of my face.. All because I didn’t prepare myself enough to fight for it. Soooo stupid of me!
I felt ashamed of myself.. When did I become this lazy, slumped person with no passion for winning? I’ve been in my comfort zone too long that I’ve forgotten how it felt to fight for something I wan’t.. something I desired.. I forgot how it felt to raise the bar.. to challenge myself.. This is what comfort zone do to me.. It’s eating out the best in me.. Make me this hollow person with nothing to achieve yet too lazy to search for one..
I don’t like the way I am right now. It’s not me.. I’m loosing my self..
-Diriku yang Bodoh-