Counting the Days..

I now understand the true meaning of:

“You can’t really appreciate what you have until it’s gone”.

I immediately remembered what J.K Rowling wrote in Harry Potter and The Deadly Hallows, in the part where Harry realizes that he is about to die. It goes a bit like this:

“Slowly, very slowly, he sat up, and as he did so he felt more alive, and more aware of his own living body than ever before. Why had he never appreciated what a miracle he was, brain and nerve and bounding heart? It would all be gone..

Every second he breathed, the smell of the grass, the cool air on his face, was so precious; to think that people had years and years, time to waste, so much time it dragged, and he was clinging to each second. “

Such irony, huh? It is human nature I guess. We always take things for granted.. Only fully appreciate something when we were about to lose them. We keep forgetting that even simple thing such as our beating hearts or the air that we breathe is a blessing that we ought to be grateful for. It’s not that we don’t KNOW it. We just simply take it as NORMAL, thus we do not feel the need to be thankful for it.

It’s close to what I feel right now. On my last week at my current company (my resignation is effective next week), I realize several things:

• As I took the daily trip to the office, I found I love it! No matter how congested the traffic is.  I love watching the palm trees pass me by, on the road sides of Pondok Indah. The beauty of living and working in South Jakarta is that it is so GREEN! They are trees everywhere you look. So different from other part of the city which only provide concrete and steel as everyday scenery.
• As I wrote my goodbye email, I realized I have so many colleagues who were always ready to lend me a helping hand. So many that, in fact, I have to revise my thank you note 5 times before it fit in 1 page (unfortunately deleting several of the names and replace it with their group names instead.. I’m very upset about that.. 😦 )
• As I went on my farewell trip with my team, I realize they’re such a crazy cool bunch. Even my boss!! Go figure! ;p It makes me sad because I never put the effort to get to know them a lot better, to see what beneath the veils.
• As I shake hands with my colleagues, they said nice things about how much they appreciate my work. It makes me realize I’ve done something meaningful to them. That I have helped. It makes me try to see myself from their perspective.. That maybe I didn’t appreciate myself enough.

In a nutshell, I found that the things I usually take as ordinary are the things that I’ll miss most when I’m gone. The trip to the office, the small talks in the morning with my team over breakfast, the teasing nature of my boss and the sound of us laughing together over it, the helping nature of all my colleagues.. Everything that have accompanied me through the four years of my employment.. The very reason why I decided to join this company in the first place..

I will miss them so much..

Even so, there are no regrets. I have made a decision to move forward and pursue my learning curve. But still, this is a lesson I will try to always remember in my years to come. In the future, I will take better care at appreciating and be thankful for everything that I’ve been blessed with.. even the small and ordinary stuff. For they are the colors of my life.. Because of them my life is beautiful.  🙂

Goodbye team.. I’ll miss you dearly..

Goodbyes are not forever.

Goodbyes are not the end.

They simply mean I’ll miss you

Until we meet again!