Tag Archives: lesson learned

Happy Birthday to Me..

Wow, time definitely flies..

Without I realize, today is my second birthday in Bandung.. A city I love since my college years..even though familiar faces from my college days one-by-one left me alone in this city, but the fact remains.. I never regret my decision coming back here. In my solitude I learn a whole lot about my self, get to know my upside, but especially my downside.. Bandung is like my sanctuary, where I can think. Something that the busy, fast-paced city of Jakarta can’t provide. Maybe it’s not the city but the lack of familiar faces hence the decline in social activities which makes me have lots of time to be alone and reflects. Whatever it is, I feel a sense of peace that I didn’t quite get in Jakarta. I hope to retire here someday.. That will be a bliss.

Anyway, today is my birthday. Thus, I decided to vary from my usual bedtime at 10pm and stay up late to watch the clock ticks by towards 00.00 am on 25 September 2010, which would be the day I turn 20-something (hush..it a secret :p). My purpose is no other than to think and reflect. I thought about my 20-something of existence. In what way have I grown? To what person have I become? In what things haven’t I changed at all?

My realization is not entirely pleasing. It has been a year of revelation for me. It’s through my years in Bandung that I realize my biggest weakness, which is my underlying character since adolescence is still haven’t been cured. The one thing that I thought I have put under control after I got older. My temper. I had long since realized that I was a fire-cracker. I snapped at the slightest irritation. It’s not a desirable trait, I know. That’s why I’ve been fighting it nearly forever. I’ve lost friends and loved ones because of it. Only a few of those people survive and still hanging tough. They are my families (no wonder right? :p) and my best friend. To them I’ll be forever grateful for they have made me a better person. I managed to have a tight leash on my temper when I’m at work or around familiar faces. But it’s here in my solitude, that I realize that the fight is far from over. But it is somewhat a good revelation, I think. I always believe the farther down you are, the more room you have for improvement. I am grateful that this eye-opener came at my 20-something age, not when I’m 30-ish or 40-ish where it would have been an acute disease and more difficult to cure. I turn to God and my loved ones for this, and it will be my Big resolution for my next birthday.  🙂

I realize also that I’m in another turning point in my life. I’ve realized my life mission that I have prolonged for sometime. I’ve been procrastinating a lot, focusing my energies not in the place that matters. I have not been living in alignment with my mission and my dreams. I’ve been sleepwalking my life away. Even after I realized my life mission and my goals, I still sometimes go back to my old self and my passive approach of live, living on a day to day basis, whatever will be will be, doing non-value added activities. It’s an ongoing self-development process, I think, to be able to consistently living in alignment with your purpose. That will be another of my resolution. I will invest more time on ME, on my purpose, on what matters.

On that note, I take a look at the clock… 58..59..60!

Happy Birthday Yuwana Stiani!!

May you always remember to reflect and learn from the passing years, and carry on with the determination and motivation to make the following years of your life better than the last.

Every breath you take is a gift from HIM. Make it matters.


“The purpose of life is not to be happy, but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, and to have made a difference” – Leo Rosten

“The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it” – William James

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Things I’m Grateful for in My Life

Aku bersyukur pada Allah  SWT telah diberi kesempatan hidup di dunia, terlahir Islam, rahmat hidayah saat aku akil baligh, kesempatan mempelajari Al Quran, keteladanan Nabi Muhammad SAW, kepintaran, kesehatan, fisik yg sempurna, keluarga yang mencintai ku, rizki yg halal, dan segala berkah yang telah diberikan seumur hidupku. Allah SWT telah memberiku kehidupan dengan modal yang sangat cukup untuk selamat dunia dan akhirat. Sekarang semua tergantung aku untuk memanfaatkan dengan sebaik-baiknya segala modal yang diberikan-Nya untuk dapat digunakan di jalan Allah dan mengejar ridho-Nya

Aku bersyukur atas keluarga yg sempurna, Papa, Mama, dan Adek, yang mencintaiku dengan segala cara, memenuhi kebutuhan jasmani dan rohani ku tanpa cela, memberiku kesempatan untuk belajar apapun yg aku mau, memberiku keamanan dan ketentraman, senantiasa membela & mendukung ku tanpa ragu.

Aku bersyukur atas sahabat sejati yg telah dikirimkan-Nya. Yang senantiasa menyediakan waktu untuk ku. Selalu ada untuk aku. Aku percaya sahabat sejati adalah juga jodoh yang diberikan Tuhan. Aku bersyukur aku memiliki 1 orang yg aku dapat sungguh-sungguh sebut sebagai sahabat. My best friend, you know who you are. I sincerely thank you. I will forever try to be the best friend you deserve.

Aku bersyukur untuk atap di atas kepala ku, kamar kosan yang nyaman, tempat tidur yg empuk dan selimut tebal untuk menghangatkan di malam hari apalagi saat hujan deras, segala peralatan elektronik yang lengkap, mobil perusahaan yg dipinjamkan kepadaku, buku sebagai sarana ilmu, BB untuk berkomunikasi dan alat kerja, dan rumah keluarga yang senantiasa bisa menjadi tempat aku kembali apabila aku tidak mampu mandiri.

Aku bersyukur atas masa-masa SMP ku, tercebur di sekolah anak-anak borjuis Jakarta yang menilai orang lain hanya berdasarkan materi. Pengalaman tersebut, walaupun berat kala itu, menempa ku untuk menemukan jati diri ku, bahwa aku lebih dari sekedar seberapa banyak uang yang dimiliki orang tua ku, bahwa kepintaran dan semangat untuk melakukan yang terbaik adalah modal utama untuk bisa sukses di situasi seberat apapun. Berkat pengalaman itu, aku jadi percaya diri.

Aku bersyukur, atas pengalaman kerja di Bandung yang membuat aku menyadari kalau aku masih perlu banyak belajar. Bahwa aku tidaklah sepintar yang aku kira. Bahwa menerapkan suatu system membutuhkan kerja keras dan determinasi. Membuat aku berpikir ulang tentang tujuan hidup ku. Membuat aku keluar dari zona nyaman ku sehingga aku memiliki motivasi untuk berkembang.

Aku bersyukur masih bisa memiliki mimpi, yg tidak pudar meskipun pernah gagal di masa lalu. Bersyukur atas energy positif dan motivasi untuk senantiasa berjuang agar berhasil. Bagaimanapun nasibku ke kedepan, aku yakin bahwa Menyerah Bukanlah Pilihan. Semoga Allah SWT senantiasa memberikan yang terbaik.

Last but not least.. I am grateful that I am able to write again.

What are you grateful for?

Counting the Days..

I now understand the true meaning of:

“You can’t really appreciate what you have until it’s gone”.

I immediately remembered what J.K Rowling wrote in Harry Potter and The Deadly Hallows, in the part where Harry realizes that he is about to die. It goes a bit like this:

“Slowly, very slowly, he sat up, and as he did so he felt more alive, and more aware of his own living body than ever before. Why had he never appreciated what a miracle he was, brain and nerve and bounding heart? It would all be gone..

Every second he breathed, the smell of the grass, the cool air on his face, was so precious; to think that people had years and years, time to waste, so much time it dragged, and he was clinging to each second. “

Such irony, huh? It is human nature I guess. We always take things for granted.. Only fully appreciate something when we were about to lose them. We keep forgetting that even simple thing such as our beating hearts or the air that we breathe is a blessing that we ought to be grateful for. It’s not that we don’t KNOW it. We just simply take it as NORMAL, thus we do not feel the need to be thankful for it.

It’s close to what I feel right now. On my last week at my current company (my resignation is effective next week), I realize several things:

  • As I took the daily trip to the office, I found I love it! No matter how congested the traffic is.  I love watching the palm trees pass me by, on the road sides of Pondok Indah. The beauty of living and working in South Jakarta is that it is so GREEN! They are trees everywhere you look. So different from other part of the city which only provide concrete and steel as everyday scenery.
  • As I wrote my goodbye email, I realized I have so many colleagues who were always ready to lend me a helping hand. So many that, in fact, I have to revise my thank you note 5 times before it fit in 1 page (unfortunately deleting several of the names and replace it with their group names instead.. I’m very upset about that.. 😦 )
  • As I went on my farewell trip with my team, I realize they’re such a crazy cool bunch. Even my boss!! Go figure! ;p It makes me sad because I never put the effort to get to know them a lot better, to see what beneath the veils.
  • As I shake hands with my colleagues, they said nice things about how much they appreciate my work. It makes me realize I’ve done something meaningful to them. That I have helped. It makes me try to see myself from their perspective.. That maybe I didn’t appreciate myself enough.

In a nutshell, I found that the things I usually take as ordinary are the things that I’ll miss most when I’m gone. The trip to the office, the small talks in the morning with my team over breakfast, the teasing nature of my boss and the sound of us laughing together over it, the helping nature of all my colleagues.. Everything that have accompanied me through the four years of my employment.. The very reason why I decided to join this company in the first place..

I will miss them so much..

Even so, there are no regrets. I have made a decision to move forward and pursue my learning curve. But still, this is a lesson I will try to always remember in my years to come. In the future, I will take better care at appreciating and be thankful for everything that I’ve been blessed with.. even the small and ordinary stuff. For they are the colors of my life.. Because of them my life is beautiful.  🙂

Goodbye team.. I’ll miss you dearly..

Goodbyes are not forever.

Goodbyes are not the end.

They simply mean I’ll miss you

Until we meet again!


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