At Least I Have Tried..

I don’t know why, but I always get the urge to write when I’m sad.. Especially when heartbroken.. It seems to me writing could be an output to overflowing of emotions, usually sadness.. That way I could reach that state of emotional balance again..to be whole again..not crumbling inside like this. Oh well then, let me just take advantage of it while it last..

So…..

……… I’m just lost for words right now.

Hhmmmmm….

Let’s just say.. I fell for someone..a good friend of mine.. I gave it a go.. and I failed.

It’s hard.. cause for me to be able to open myself to love again is not easy, let alone to try and do something about it. And.. Like after every failure, my subconscious mind started to analyze and question things..

Mind: “Why are u always fall for you friend..why not somebody new, who you don’t have history with..it will be a lot more easier to leave behind when it’s not working, right?

Heart: “Cause I can’t fall for a stranger.. I need to know him well for sometime before I trust him..let alone love him.. I just can’t do that.. He has to be my friend first, before anything else..”

Mind: “You know damn well that he’s not that into you and thinks of you only as his friend, so why continue anyway? You could prevent something like this from happening, right?

Heart: “I can not want something and not do anything about it. However impossible it may seems, I rather try and fail, than be at the agony of not knowing, just thinking ‘what ifs’. If I could do it all over again, I would do the same. That’s just the way I am.. I guess..”

And with that, my mind rest.. I hope.. ;p My stubborn heart always came up with answers that are sometimes illogical, but will never alter.. because they represent ME. As foolish as I maybe..

Source: www.deviantart.com/deviation/

So.. now, what’s left to do is just to move on..

I’m going to look forward, and not regretting yesterday..  🙂

Thus, the menus for this beautiful Monday are:

• Work like Hell at the office. Like this quote I found this morning on Tweeter: “Love conquers all, but if love doesn’t do it, try hard work.” –Anonymous
• Work out the rest of my energy at the gym.. Just wear them off on treadmill.. :p
• All the while, listening to sad love songs on my Winamp… Jennifer Paige – Beautiful, Bellefire – Can’t Cry Hard Enough, Lionel Ritchie – Can’t Get Over You, Colbie Caillat – I Never Told You. Jennifer Love Hewitt – Couldn’t Find Another Man… Huhuhuhuhuhu… Hiks..Hiks..

Tetap semangat Yoan!! Remember.. No Regrets! Jiaiyoooo!! Go..Go..Go…

Have a Good Monday Morning everyone! 🙂